Lackadaisical Locker Leasing

Lackadaiscal Locker Leasing is right. Or maybe Lousy Locker Leasing would be a better description. Regardless, this post is not actually about alliteration (although that would be a delightfully diverting post to write)-- this post is about lockers. And fiascos. And BYU.

I know what you're thinking. . . BYU? Do anything wrong? Never!!!!

Alas, BYU is not the pinnacle of perfection (despite the plethora of "proofs" dutifully supplied to the Daily Universe letters to the editor by overeager zealots). As evidenced by debacle that ensued when I tried to rent a locker Wednesday evening.

I signed up for two P.E. classes this semester, Water Aerobics and Weight Training. So, I paid for a locker and then dutifully tramped over to the RB women's locker room to get my locker assignment. The girl at the desk handed me my locker assignment, rattled off the rules, and then sent me on my way.

There was just one problem.

There was already a lock on my locker.

I trudged back to the desk and explained the situation to the girl at the desk. She grabbed a massive pair of lock clippers (which looked something like this ) and cheerfully trotted over to cut the lock for me.

To our great surprise, once the lock was clipped and the locker was open, we discovered that the locker had already been assigned to another student.  The student employee apologized and assigned me another locker.

The second locker had a lock on it, too.

I went back to the desk, yet again, and the employee assigned me a totally random locker on the same row.  I checked it out and thankfully, it did not have a lock on it (although it did have a towel left in it-- odd).  So, I locked it up, glad to have that fiasco out of the way.  Or so I thought.

The next morning I woke up and discovered that I had missed a couple of phone calls.  Upon listening to my voicemails, I was appalled to hear an all-too-familiar voice say:

"This is [insert name here] from the Richards' Building women's locker room.  It appears that we accidentally assigned you a locker that was already assigned to someone.  Please come by the locker room and talk to us to get a new locker assignment."

I have got to be the only student in BYU history to have been assigned four lockers in only two days!  The girl that helped me originally insisted that she had never EVER heard of anyone before me getting assigned to a locker that had already been assigned.  But, here I am-- living proof that BYU's locker assignment program desperately needs some revamping.

I guess I should be more grateful.  After all, I did finally get an unoccupied locker.

And hey, at least they weren't in charge of issuing my social security number!