Whenever I tell people that I am living at home, I often get the classic response "That must be really nice." Which makes me wonder if they've ever tried living at home as an adult.
Not that there aren't definite perks of living at home. I can see why someone's first thought would be that living at home is great. Most of the time it is-- No rent, free laundry any time, free homecooked meals. Those are the great sides of living at home . . . and I do enjoy them a lot. (Thanks, Mom and Dad.)
However, looking through rose-colored glasses doesn't negate all problems in life. All perks notwithstanding, living at home definitely has its challenges, too. For example, even though I'm an adult, my parents' frequently feel the need to tell me I should be in bed instead of staying up late, or to remind me that I should be working more hours instead of playing with my nieces and nephews.
But, one of my least favorite parts of living at home has always been the wake-up calls.
My parents, especially my dad, have such odd ideas about dragging me out of bed at unearthly hours. But, that's not all. My dad not only marches into my room obscenely early, but he uses the most obnoxious techniques possible to wake me up. My sister, Danielle, can commiserate with me. She suffered the same fate when we shared a room in high school.
And so one day we realized we needed to accurately compile the evidence, so that all future generations could rest assured of the malicious crimes against us. They needed to be aware of all the injustices we faced in the form of various wake-up calls from our dad.
compiled 6/2001 by his victims
Blasts music/scripture tapes in our ears
Bounces basketballs on us
Pokes us with the broom
Tickles our toes
Drums on Danielle like a drummer – “I thought you’d pay more attention to me if I
Prior to accompanying Danielle to her “Steps Ahead” Jazz Concert in Salt Lake, he’d
Paddles us
Brings us Cheetos and waves them under our noses, “Smell!” Then he stuffs one in our
Rubs Danielle’s legs crying, “Oh, prickly”
Calls “Get out of bed, you big, warm hunk of flesh!”
Grabs legs and pulls them out from under the covers.
Loudly sings, “Good morning” from Singing in the Rain (but conveniently stops when it
7 comments:
I liked the blasting "You are 16 going on 17..."
Careful, this will only spur Dad on to greater heights!
At least he isn't armed with any stinky diaps! :)
Ha ha! Where did you find that list?! I had forgotten almost all of those things. My wakeup calls these days are not nearly so original. They are all variations on:
1) Mom, I need to go to the potty.
2) Mom, I need a drink of cold water.
I didn't know about the Cheetos one. Another perk to living at home: waking up to Eliza whispering. In your bed.
So you didn't get free laundry when you lived at Alta?
The Cheetos one sounds the worst.
This list is dated 2001, and I'm curious: do you still get creative wake-up calls like this? How would a current list compare?
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