Why Can't the English Learn to Speak?

Why can't the English teach their children how to speak?

This verbal class distinction, by now should be antique.

If you spoke as she does, Sir, instead of the way you do

Why, you might be selling flowers too!

Why can't the English learn to speak!

If you love musicals as much as I do, you will know that the lines quoted above come from one of the best musicals of all time-- My Fair Lady. They are part of a song sung by Professor Henry Higgins, a language scholar, about the disintegration of the English language.

I never realized how true that song was until I visited England.

Not that the British don't speak well. They do-- they just don't speak English. At least, not the version I'm familiar with. They seem to have a unique vocabulary all their own.

So, to save you some of the bewilderment I have faced (in case you ever find yourself in England), I have composed a dictionary of British words I have run across recently:

Napkins (nappies for short):

Don't ask for these at a restraunt-- you'd be requesting a diaper!

Lorry:Truck

Quid:

A pound-- like calling one of our dollars a "buck"

Pram:

Short for perambulator, refers to a baby carriage or stroller

Toilet:

Bathroom. Someone laughed in our faces when we called one a restroom.

Trolley:

Cart (like the ones the use at libraries to move books around)

Lift:

Elevator

Petrol:

Gasoline

To let:

For rent (I confess, every time I see a big "TO LET" sign, I have an overwhelming urge to add an I in the middle. It's just asking for it! One of these days . . . )

Boot:

Trunk (of a car)

Rubbish:

Trash

Flat:

Apartment

Pants:

Underwear

Trousers:
Pants

Squash:

A type of fruit juice that's really concentrated and has to have water added before drinking (Hence the reason I got really confused the first time someone here asked me if I had ever had squash before.)

Mingin':

not nice (like if the floor is really dirty: "oh, that's mingin")

Bin:

Trash can

Uni (pronounced you-KNEE):
University

Module:
What you take at Uni (i.e. a class)

Tube:
Subway

I know I have heard many more unique words than the few listed here, but I figured it was high time I posted this. If I think of enough others, I'll make an appendix (or codicil) to this post.

In the meantime, it's good to be home!